Nancy Smith was a
stay-at-home mom then a teacher, a hospital volunteer and a full- time hospital
employee when she decided to follow her calling and retrain as a hospital
chaplain. She was the chaplain at Memorial
Hermann Memorial
City Hospital
for almost a decade. She was ordained as
a Baptist minister in 1998 but through her studies and her work in multi-faith
situations, she moved beyond the confines of the church to work in spiritual
healing in its widest sense. She has been married to Joe since 1967 and has two
children, Jennifer and Michael and two grandchildren, Ben and Clare.
What’s your story, Nancy ?
I
am a fourth generation Houstonian and I feel like I have followed a thread of
learning my whole life. One of my great-grandparents on my father’s side
traveled to Kansas in a covered wagon as a
child and then came to Houston .
She had one child and after she was divorced, she became the Dean of Jeff Davis
High School even though she hadn't had a college education. When she retired, she went to the University of Houston even though she was in her late
seventies. So to me being a lifelong learner is something that has always been
in my family and I just never thought of it as unusual.
My
own path was really chosen for me, I wasn't the one who chose it. Like all of
us, we have circumstances that happen which turn out to be fortuitous. I had
grown up the granddaughter of a physician and though I thought I might be a
nurse – I would have been Nurse Nancy! – I actually majored in education. I was a stay-at-home mom until the mid-1980s doing
all sorts of volunteer work with the kids like scouting and with the
church.
I
went back into teaching when there was a bad economic turn and my husband was
struggling to hold on to his real estate business, but I soon realized what I
wanted to do was work for MD Anderson, the cancer hospital here in
Houston. I had been volunteering there
for many years and had just spent two weeks as a summer camp counselor at Camp Star
Trails with MD Anderson kids who were being treated for cancer. It was just a
fabulous experience and the spirit of MD Anderson just called me. So I resigned from my teaching job and was
lucky enough to get a job there as a Patient Care Coordinator. We would meet a new
patient when they first arrived, escort them around and show them the ropes. We
were there to help them and to walk alongside them throughout their time in the
hospital. So I got to meet so many well people whose bodies were not so well,
and it seemed to me like the person kept getting “weller and weller"!
I
realized then that we are all on such a spiritual journey. It had broadened my
life so much to see people who had come from all over the world, patients and healthcare
professionals, people who had taken such different paths from mine. One time I
looked up at a Code Team – the team that comes from all over the hospital to
perform CPR – and of this team there was not one face that was the same color
as the one next to it, or even from the same religious tradition. The sense of strong human spirit there
totally amazed me, So I decided that I really wanted to support people's
spirituality as they go through life.
To
me, religion is humankind's way of making sense of life and the spirit which
provides it so I began going to seminary at night after I worked all day. My
sweet family didn't mind. I would get up at 4am and write my papers for my next
class that night and a kind woman at work would type them for me. I took three years of seminary over ten years
and I just knew that there was a thread for me to keep following. I could see it
in the scriptures I was reading or in whatever theology I was studying and I
could see it come to life in people. It sent me on a journey that went deeper
into the church and then it took me away from the church again.
I
struggled with the church as an institutional structure and the way that people
believe in literalism. It seemed to me that for them faith became such a
limiting factor. Take healing, for
example since that’s what I was all about.
In the Bible there are stories of healings. You can take them literally
and it won't ever apply to your life because you can't really believe that
could happen to you. But what if you see the metaphorical ways that healing
happens, like the concept of resurrection?
When you see over and over again people being borne up from the ashes of
what they have experienced, you realize that if you believe it too literally,
it keeps the truth of it at a distance. It was good for me not only to intellectualize
all this but also to integrate what I was learning with what I was experiencing
at MD Anderson.
I have
had people say to me, "So, what are you?" Well, I went to four different seminaries. I
graduated from the Houston Graduate School of Theology, which is a Quaker
seminary, because it's here in Houston .
I couldn't pick up and go to another location because my family was here and my
job was here. I also took lots of classes at Perkins, the Methodist seminary
and even at the Catholic seminary. I actually
took one class at Houston Baptist University but discovered that my male peers
were not open to women and it felt very oppressive, maybe not from the
professors, but from certainly the young men, so that wasn't for me.
My
husband and I belonged to a moderate, smaller Baptist Church
and there was a wonderful pastor there who believed, as I did, that women could
do anything men could do and in the Bible when it said that women don't teach
it was more a cultural thing. In 1998, when I was ready to be ordained, he led
the church through a study and put me before the church so they could ask about
my calling. When they voted and only four
people voted against me from a membership of around 120. I was so indebted to that beautiful
congregation for doing that, but still, four people did leave the church over
it. I know though that it wasn't just
good for me, it was good for the church too!
By
that time, I was already a practicing chaplain having taken two years of
clinical pastoral education. I worked at CanCare and then took on a full-time
ministry at Memorial
Hermann Memorial
City Hospital
which was a wonderful experience. A
licensed professional counselor has to go through lots of supervision and if my
supervisor, Leanne Rathbun, were in Houston I would nominate her as an
Inspiring Houston Woman too. Leanne gave me permission to be messy inside
because at that time I felt I knew a lot less than I had known before, and I
know even less now than I have ever known. You have all those absolute certainties
about life when you're young, in your teens and 20s, but then you start
thinking, “Wait, there's more!” That's
what happened to my religion. I could see that there was more and I really
wanted little girls in the Baptist
Church to know that they could
do anything. In fact I wanted little girls everywhere to know that if they
follow what's inside, they can “Go for it!” That for me is what it's all about and
teaching and healing are all part of the same thing, part of becoming who you really
are.
It
has felt rather like coming out of the closet in a way for me because I have
hidden it from some people I knew in my previous life as a hospital chaplain or
as a church person, because I don't want to disappoint them. But I have moved
on and I think I would never call myself a Christian in the traditional
exclusive sense anymore because I appreciate that there are different paths of
different streams which all come off the same river. I’ve worked out that I
can’t use anymore the religious language I used to use, because I know that
there is more to it. I’m not saying that
I go through a cafeteria line and choose only what I want, but I feel that we
can really expand each other’s understanding of where we came from and where we
are going just by listening to each other.
That
stood me in good stead in the hospital community because a hospital is a
microcosm of the world which is why I love it, and the hospital chapel is not a
Christian chapel, it is a place for all to go to. I was the lead chaplain at Memorial City
for almost ten years and in our chapel there was a symbol. It was a cross. Now, many of my friends were Jewish, the
patients and the volunteers were Jewish and I became very close with a rabbi
who is in our area, and they would come and light the Hanukkah candles. At the time of the Jewish high holy days in
September, I wanted to cover that particular symbol so that they could come into
the chapel and maybe have a service there. So I went to Hansen Galleries and
they gave me a beautiful piece of fabric, a tapestry that was so colorful it looked
like a stained glass window. I hung that up over the cross but when it came
time to take it down and return it to Hansen Galleries, I felt so uncomfortable
about it. It felt like we were putting up Aunty Mable’s picture on the wall
just because Uncle Henry was coming to visit, only to take it down again when
he left. I thought this doesn’t feel
right. We are acting as if we are the owners of this house and we are not. So I
went to my supervisor and we agreed to take down the Christian symbol. Of course, a lot of people were not happy but
another chaplain and I worked with a quilter in Pennsylvania who made us a beautiful quilt
to hang there instead. She told us about
why she had put this thread here and that thread there, it was all about the
story of life’s journey.
Faces of Faith - by Ed Hankey |
I
retired in 2006 because my mother was very ill, so I got to spend some time
with my mother at the end of her life and I wouldn't take anything for
that. I didn't go back to the hospital
after she died because my father developed Alzheimer's. That was another little turn in the road, but
you know, all along the way, while you are following that thread, I think there
is such a responsibility to tell your own truth. Though
you don't want to squash anybody else's truth, I truly believe that there is a
built-in salvific force that our creator has put inside us which moves us
towards whoever we are. I don't want to put a name to it. Most people call that creator God but to me, that's
a limiting word. Theologian Paul Tillich said that it’s the ‘ground of all being’ and I believe that. I believe it's more
than religious language can describe. I wouldn't deny my Christian faith
because of course it brought me to where I am. I believe it all but I also believe
there’s more.
What advice would you
give to someone new to spiritual healing?
Well,
whether it’s someone new to teaching or healing, in healthcare, as a mom or as
a friend, I would say that you must listen to that still small voice inside,
and if something out there isn't congruent with your experiences don't just
jump into it. Keep on listening to yourself and to your experience because each
of our experiences, every one of them good or bad, is part of our wholeness.
Who or what has been
the greatest influence on your life?
My
husband, Joe, has been my greatest enabler in the best sense of the word. His
acceptance and encouragement of my evolution is life giving. There have been other people too, all along
the way, who have influenced me and I lament that I am not in touch with every
one of those people still. But we were there for each other, influenced each
other and inspired each other even if it was only for that one day or even that
one hour. There were my friends that I
ran with, there was my great friend Polly, there were people I worked with at
MD Anderson, and there were the patients too.
And there’s Rabbi Rabinowitz and my nephew Blaine who has cerebral
palsy. Really, there are so many of
them.
How do you find, or
seek to find, balance in your life?
When
I was younger I ran marathons and even now my physical fitness is very
important to me. So I go over to Trotter
YMCA every morning and do my exercises.
That gives my day structure, and I experience the YMCA as a place of
great diversity and faithfulness. I know
lots of lovely groups of people over there.
We have a birthday club and on Sundays I go to what I call ‘yoga
church’. It's wonderful! It's like a ritual for me and it keeps me
grounded. There are people in that class from all over the world and it feels just
like a beautiful little church for me, with all the people from different
places. I used to be on the board there
years ago when the Y set up a Women’s Center because many women don't want to
exercise with other people, especially the Muslim women because they have to be
dressed. So in the Women's Center they don't have to be. It's a separate space,
smaller than the big one and I thought that was just very understanding and
empathic, especially for a Christian organization.
Jerusalem International YMCA |
I
traveled to Israel
in November and it was so good. We stayed in Jerusalem
in a hotel called the King
David Hotel
which was absolutely fabulous. Right
across the street was a YMCA housed in a historic building and when you walk
in, their mission statement is there on the wall and it says we are a place of
peace amidst a time of religious diversity.
It was special to me to come across that.
It's
a whole different city than it was. The little house I grew up in is long gone. It was on Norfolk Street and now it’s under Greenway Plaza !
Then we moved out to Briargrove when that was the furthest you could
go. I love when I go to the Heights
because that's where my father's family originated and I love going over to the
Montrose area because that's where my mother's family came from. I see places that
aren't even there anymore, but they're so real in my mind.
Where is your happy
place in Houston ?
On
my patio. On a pretty day I just sit tight there and wherever I look I see
green in any direction.
What is your favorite
restaurant?
It’s
Pondicheri. I love the big breakfast plate because I love the way they balance
their tastes. Another place I love is a neighborhood restaurant called Joyce's which
has been here forever and ever. It used to be that we would go in there and I
would think it was full of old people, and of course, now I'm there! Anyway
it's a lovely little retro seafood place.
What is your Houston secret?
One place I love is full of secrets. Glenwood Cemetery
was, I believe, the first planned public garden in Houston . People in the 1800s went there for
picnics and it is filled with famous and infamous Houstonians and world class
sculpture. The monthly tours led by Jim Parsons are really fun and are rich
with history and gossip.
If you could change
one thing about Houston …
I
love the vitality of Houston and I love the diversity, but if there's anything
I'd change it would be that we could see each other's ‘otherness’ more readily
and be more accepting of it. We should
embrace it more than being afraid of it. I love the things that are organized
to foster diversity like the festivals in Downtown.
I
also think that in this city it is too easy to become isolated. We go to work and
we come home and stay there. So I think we all need to make an effort to get out
there and meet more people. I would certainly change that about myself.
Nancy Smith was nominated as an Inspiring Houston Woman by Jennifer Enos